Startup Pain

Being and entrepreneur is in my blood. It is part of the DNA God created me with, and I am grateful for the talent. That said it can also be an incredible drain emotionally on the entrepreneur and his or her family. Startups are not magic. There is no secret formula, just because you had one or two successes does not mean you will always be successful. If that were the case every VC would have figured it out and would have a 100% hit rate. The next startup you do is just as much of a grind as the first. Sure you may have more relationships and reputation which help grease the wheels but in the end the business still has to succeed. It must produce something of value for which you get people or other companies to give you money.

Even the smartest guys can fail. Failure is simply finding ways which don’t work and deciding not to continue. I learned this early in life from my Dad. He is small business man and had one particularly rough period with his business when I was a teenager. It was so difficult financially that many men would have thrown in the towel and searched for a job to provide income for their family. My Dad was considering this; I remember talking with him at diner many nights and realizing that even though things looked grim there was always a way to keep going, laying off people, skipping salary, short term financing on credit cards, working longer hours, etc. In the end he pulled it off and has continued to be successful. This was a big lesson to me about never quitting. As I said above often times the difference between success and failure is the successful team kept failing but did not give up until they succeeded.

This does not come without a price. Whether you have a lot of money or a little, the grind of a startup and the need to succeed take a toll on you personally and your family if you have one. I have not met a true entrepreneur who could shut if off. You are working every waking hour, even if you come home you’re sneaking in time on the lap top when taking to your wife or just before bed, whatever, your mind is consumed with the venture and you can’t turn it off, even when you’re driving, any downtime your mind has to wander, it drifts to your venture.

Each time you experience a small “failure” it pushes you that much harder. It becomes an emotional roller coaster. Each success can fend off dozens of failures. I have joked around with friends that it is like a bipolar drug. Hi highs and low lows but the highs can sustain you through many lows. It is because of the risk involved. If it is your first startup it is everything, your financial butt is on the line, you are truly risking everything earthly that you have. If it your second, third etc. your reputation is on the lineyou’re your need for success is just as great. Since the risk is so great, the fear of failure so pungent, even the smallest the successes are an amazing high; aha I cheated death again!

The problem is for your wife and family they don’t always get to experience the highs. They just feel the risk and they live with Dad when he is emotionally consumed and by consequence often unavailable.

I personally needed a break from this roller coaster. I know that at some time in my life I will go there again. As I said it is in my DNA.

Today I am enjoying being part of a great management team for a fast growing company which is well out of the early risk stage. It is an incredible recharge for the emotional batteries and I am having fun and looking forward to working each day. It is still a young company so I am getting much of the same challenge I would in a startup, but we are not forced to scrap for cash and are focusing on growth, acquisitions and efficiency. Building a company to last which is the other side of the entrepreneurial venture. My family is also enjoying having Dad around and with a more balanced focus.

In the scope of life do not forget to recharge and evaluate why you are doing what you’re doing.